I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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