He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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