How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
