So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
