I just made out with a guy for $7.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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