do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
vagina is talking i cant
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize