Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
