Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
youre lurking in front of me
I can text with my tongue
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
