I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
