The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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