I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
