I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
