i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
