Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My vagina just clenched in fear
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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