Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Even my vagina gasped.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
