dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
