doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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