I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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