6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
