you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she smelled like a LAN party
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
