I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
This is my gift to your gina
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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