last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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