the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
