Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
