Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
