we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
