Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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