I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
