glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
