Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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