There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
