this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i came on her dog
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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