Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
