How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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