loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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