What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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