I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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