Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
should my penis look like a turkey
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
