He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
so much tequila, so little girl.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
