do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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