Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
zippers are such a cool invention
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize