God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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