I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
