Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
