...so i touched it.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the brideโs sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groomโs cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
