Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I need a burrito and a hug.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
