Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
