my mouth tastes like poor choices
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
