We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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