This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
