I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
