You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
