that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize