PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
