I just cut my nipple shaving
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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