I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
