the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize