i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
