so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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