If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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