i already hear my dad disowning me
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize