Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
