He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
