I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
