the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
