I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
