You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
